Does Everything Happen for a Reason? I Like to Think So.
If you had asked me that 20 years ago, I probably would have said "no" or "I'm not sure." But now? Heck yes, I believe it. I truly believe that everything happens to us for a reason. Even if, at the time, we can't make sense of it. Even if, at the time, it breaks our hearts.
(I would like to first point out that this does not apply to absent/neglectful parents or losing the people we love.)
A couple years ago, my boyfriend introduced me to weightlifting. He got me set up on a lifting schedule and I've followed it ever since. Things didn't pan out with him, but I fell in love with lifting, so I thank my ex for that. Maybe I'm just telling myself that his ghosting me happened for a reason to make myself feel better, but who cares? If I can turn a negative into a positive, why shouldn't I?
Another thing that I learned from him was that even though I might be ready for a serious, committed relationship, the next guy might not be. I learned not to settle for crumbs. I learned that some people, no matter how much you might love them, are just not good for you and should not be in your life. I learned that I deserve all of the love and affection that I give out so freely to others.
If you had told me back in 2008 that I would now be divorced for nearly 5 years, I wouldn't have believed you. In hindsight, getting divorced is the best thing I ever did for myself and my children. Although life after divorce was tough, it is hands-down the best decision I ever made. Going through a failed marriage and divorce taught me that life is too short to ever settle. It taught me that any abuse in any type of relationship is not okay. It taught me that even though I was scared, I was strong. It helped me to realize that we are not here long enough to spend our days being unhappy.
At the time that these traumatic things happened, I felt like I would never understand why. But I do understand now. Maybe these are just stories I made up to tell myself to help me feel better. That's okay. It brings me peace and that's the most important thing to me, next to happiness. I'll take these lessons that I've learned with me on the rest of my journey.
After my divorce, I, too, felt that it was the best life event for me to endure. As tough as it is, it opened my eyes to many ideas. It even made me discover my spiritual side. Yes, there is a purpose and a reason in life's struggles and victories.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading.
DeleteSomething you gain and a lesson you learned. Proud of you for being strong. ❤️
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
DeleteI believe this as well. You have to go through heartaches sometimes in life to find your true meaning and the meaning of what happiness is.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading.
DeleteVery good article Melissa. I can relate & I also believe that certain things do happen for a reason. Keep up the great relatable writing.
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DeleteDivorce was best for our family and we have thrived ever since. Did I think I would still be single 20 years later? Not at all…. Makes me think I was A bigger prior to the problem than I knew, I was willing to accept.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading.
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DeleteI enjoyed reading your writing. It would certainly be a crumby thing to do if you let anyone stick around if they aren’t immediately throwing out some seriously good energy!! As a man in my 40’s, so many things are different in today’s society. One thing that remains the same is how valuable and important good people still are. Your time is too valuable to piss any away on people that don’t add value to your life. Not monetarily but emotionally. I wish you all the best!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading.
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